Imagine you are a little boy. You are between 7 and 8 years old. You lost your dad a year ago. He is dead. Since your mom is depressed. She is unemployed. You have many other brothers and sisters. You have a big brother. He is now the man of the family, he works and it is he who brings money and food. You love him very much but at the same time he scares you. Sometimes it is very severe.

 

It's summer, it's hot. You are in the garden playing. There is a caravan at the bottom of the garden with which you go on vacation before your dad dies. Your brother offers to go play in this caravan, just the two of you. You are proud! Finally you will have fun together, you will have a good laugh, it will be a good time.

 

In the caravan your brother tickles you and you laugh. You end up on the bed. Your brother continues to talk to you. Your brother touches your fly and takes off your pants. Then you don't really know anymore. It's the fog. Everything is tangled in your head. But you feel that your back hurts a lot.

 

Your brother gets up and puts his pants back on. He says you shouldn't say anything. He says that if you tell mom she will make a suicide attempt again and that the whole family will end up at the DASS, that because of you your family will be destroyed. You will no longer have a mom, no more brothers and sisters and your whole family will suffer.

 

Suddenly mom calls in the garden.

Your brother replies "we're in the caravan we're coming!"

Your mom comes in and says hurry dinner is ready.

She sees your pants and your pants at your feet.

She turns to your brother: "What are you doing in there?"

Your brother answers: "Nothing he wanted to pee".

Your mom goes out and says, "Hurry up, dinner is ready!"

 

How would you do if you were this little boy?

 

Your brother is the mainstay of the family if you speak the whole family will be destroyed. Your brother works and earns money so that your mom and your brothers and sisters have enough to eat, to survive. Your mom saw and said nothing so it doesn't matter even if you feel that what happened is wrong. But your mom knows, she would have said something, done something ... She would have protected you!

 

Human beings need to classify things in boxes to be able to live, to move forward ... Good / bad, I'm safe / I'm not ... There you can't, it's impossible!

So you have to find a solution to continue living, so as not to destroy everything that you believe is your responsibility: the safety of your family. If you talk your world falls apart.

So you create other "boxes in your brain. A box," a part of you "that remembers what your brother did and the other parts of you that will no longer have to know to be able to have lunch with your brother, go to school…

But this little box "this part" which holds this secret is there. And she will remember you regularly, one day or another, seek to be "reinstated", assimilated as part of you.

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