HOW TO HELP?

I could tell you that it's very simple ...

 

It would be enough that you listen to us, that you show us your support, your sympathy, your attention ... That is all we ask. ! We ask to be heard, seen, believed. We ask to be told that it is not our fault, that we are beautiful people, that we deserve to be loved and respected, that we deserve to be at peace, to no longer suffer and not to no longer be abused ...

 

But unfortunately it is not so simple!

 

The real question is what are you ready to do, what are you ready to hear, do you accept to make the effort to understand our mechanisms, to support us, to help us?

 

Give us your confidence for 1 month, for 3 months, for 1 year ... Just accept to leave a small door open, chat with us, listen to us, let us explain, tell you what we live every day ... Chat with us , come see us ... Give us the opportunity to speak, to show ...

That's all we ask of you.

 

And if you do that, you will give us the most beautiful gift!

 

I am lucky, the HUGE luck that my sister agreed to do this for me.

 

Since my separation from my ex-husband, she calls me regularly and we spend holidays together. Since this separation, I called her in tears after each of my interviews with psychoanalysts, I called her after each act of violence that I suffered on the part of my companions, she attended helplessly at my trips- returns, my moments of lucidity on what I was going through and my reversals in panic. I called her when it was bad at work, when I was worried about losing custody of my children during my divorce…

 

She always knew everything about what I was going through but couldn't find a way to help me out. She was there just to listen, to reassure, to rationalize ... During all these very difficult years of lifting amnesia, after the suicide of my brother and the death of my father, she was one of the people who allowed me not to commit suicide not. She "kept" me alive.

 

Little by little, with the lifting of amnesia, memories began to rise, I called her regularly to question her. Do you remember that? were we there? Was this person present? I remember that, am I crazy?

 

She has always been in sympathetic listening, without judgment, she never broke the bond and always continued to take news even if she was not in agreement with my actions or even if she was afraid for me.

 

She regularly told me that she cares about me, that she loves me and that she will always be there for me. She told me for years that she was there and that she would not give up and she proved it to me by her actions.

 

Thanks to that, I was able to repair and experience a different kind of link. I could see that I existed for a person, that what I said counted, that I was listened to and heard. No one had ever done this for me.

 

I could start to trust, I could start to hope… I could experience another relationship with the other, a relationship that does not result in rape, betrayal or silence and indifference .

 

She attended several of my anxiety attacks, she reassured me, helped me manage them. She supported me when sensory memories returned and the desire to die in the face of the resurgence of these memories was too strong.

 

When my diagnosis of TDI was made, she listened, became interested, she watched the videos I told her about that allowed me to move forward, she watched the films that I recommended to her, she read the books that I was reading ... She made an effort to understand, became interested ... She opened a small door.

 

This little door I have hoped for all my life.

 

With these words and this text, I want to express all the love and gratitude I feel for her.

 

Without it, today I would not be alive. I would have abandoned as I was abandoned. But because she held out her hand to me and never let go, I have the strength today to face my demons, my past and I finally see light, a hope for my future.

 

She came with me to one of my sessions with my psychologist. I had enough confidence, as she had proven to me in the past, to let different parts of me come and speak before her.

This too was a wonderful gift for me!

 

Many of my parties trust my sister now. Each of them dialogues by text, email and on the phone with my sister on a daily basis. We feel free to express our fears, our beliefs, our memories and she interacts with us, adapting to us.

 

When small parties anxiously write their terrors to him that our executioners punish and kill us, my sister reassures them and reminds them that we are safe.

 

It reminds me of my age, that I'm an adult, a mom, where I live because sometimes I don't remember. Sometimes when my little or teen parts come back, I forget where I live, how old I am, and only the suffering and memories that these parts carry are real. Being able to talk about it with my sister, expressing out loud what I live everyday helps me enormously!

 

Thanks to her, I can be ME! Completely me without fear of consequences, of judgments ...

 

Being able to show my parts and let them speak with it helps me enormously to move forward and cope. It helps my parties to realize that we are all living in the same single body, it helps to ensure that the dialogue is better and better between my parts ...

 

I would not be there today, I would not have progressed without his help!

 

The role of loved ones is essential!

 

This fight we are waging, facing what we have experienced is extremely painful, it is literally torture! Having someone with whom to be able to talk about it, having someone by our side who supports us is essential!

 

A simple and unique person can make a difference, a simple outstretched hand can help us stay alive and give us the strength to fight to rebuild and believe in the future and in human beings, in us- even...

 

I still try, tirelessly to speak, to explain ... Leading this fight alone is very difficult.

 

I tried with my friends, almost all of them cut ties saying it was too difficult for them to hear, or simply giving me no sign of life simply without any explanation.

 

In fact many people don't want to know, most of them.

 

It makes me angry, in a rage and a mad injustice. It also gives me despair and makes me sad.

 

The majority of people don't want to know and take refuge behind the "it's not possible, I don't want to hear anything" but if they were a little honest with themselves, they would give me a chance.

 

If we doubt something, we have the right of course, but to form an opinion, we listen, we observe, we study ... This chance there they do not even give me!

 

It would be enough that they come to see me for a few days, that they stay in touch for a few months with me and then they could see for themselves if my anxiety attacks are fake, if I play a role when my parties express, if my speech is coherent ... if I am in reality or psychosis.

 

This right, my right to speak, my right to defend myself and express myself is denied to me most of the time.

 

So I beg you, open a small door for us, reach out to us and at least agree to listen to us.