Why is it important that all health professionals be trained in trauma and its management?
Small example: I smoke.
To be successful in quitting smoking, I can't just take patches. I already tried. Many times.
Not only do I have parts that oppose it and take it out, but in addition, they can smoke a cigarette while I have the patch .... I can do that at times of "amnesia" that I have in my present.
So I need everyone to be informed and convinced of the merits of stopping.
And for that, it is necessary that the professional who supports me for this can understand how I work, that I can express the beliefs and thoughts of my different dissociative parts and that he is able to address himself adequately to they....
I have dissociative parts that smoke because it's a fucking way to rebel against my dad who raped me. One way to say to that asshole, I don't belong to you anymore, you see I'm free, I do what I want !!!
For these parties, smoking is being free. And quitting smoking would mean I obeyed him again ....
I have dissociative parts which hate my mouth, which feel dirty, guilty, a waste ... And smoking is a way of "punishing" this mouth which they refuse to recognize as part of their own body, a way of taking revenge on this mouth which has allowed itself to be raped for years, which has been an accomplice .... A way of expressing their anger and their rage with something acceptable. They couldn't hate rapists because it was too dangerous, too painful, so carrying it over to a piece of our body was easier, more acceptable .... I often wanted, needed to punish my body for this. that he had suffered. Smoking seems more acceptable than scarifying yourself ... It is less condemned and also poorly judged by people, smoking does not leave visible traces on the body .... socially it is a more acceptable way of punishing yourself .. .
I have dissociative parts which find this addiction less dangerous than all the others ... Many people who have lived through serious trauma sink into drugs, alcoholism ... It is a kind of "acceptable compromise and less dangerous ". Addictions allow you to dissociate, it is a temporary way that allows you to suffer less, to feel less ... That the body understands very quickly and seeks to find this means to escape the sensations of imminent death when you have flashbacks ... So it's a compromise between my body and my parts ...
It is also a way of rebelling against the sect which condemned all addictions ... I am "free" ...
And it's also a way for me to feel strong and rebellious. Socially smoking is associated with partying, nonconformity, rebellion and freedom. Or in any case is perceived as such by some of my parts who allow themselves "thanks to that" to be a more self-confident, more "strong" person, to express their thoughts and needs with less guilt (my parts who feel masculine ")
And now I have automatisms which are set up, as soon as I tell my story, I "need" to smoke, it has become like a need for oxygen. As if, if I don't, I will die, lacking air ... As soon as I have an anxiety attack, I need to smoke as if it will help me calm down ... In stressful situations the urge to smoke has become like a vital need or death if I don't ... It is now associated in my memory with my memories of rapists choking me to breathe and be in. life...
It is therefore complicated for me to manage to quit smoking as long as these different parts are in these beliefs of freedom, of rebellion and that we have not advanced further on our resolution and integration of our traumas ....
I would need a pro who can explain the risks to my health to children or teenagers. Someone who understands the hold of a cult and listens without condemning or lecturing my need for rebellion against my father and the cult and dialogues with my parties who see this as positive until they understand that they do not. 'need it more to show that they are strong and free ....
And someone who understands that many parts have understood that this addiction is like a vital need and that he explains scientifically what it does to my body, the mechanisms of the addiction, how the brain reacts, the different phases for to wean and adequately help me re-educate my body, brain and dissociative parts. By adapting also in its explanations to the different capacities of comprehension. Some of my parts need very thorough and scientific explanations, while for others it will be Chinese ...
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