Well I know, I loop on the same thing ... But it annoys me !!!!
Maybe it is because I have a quaternary system with several systems having several PANs and several PEs?
But reading this kind of table annoys me to the highest point!
I don't have a part present most of the time. My parts which manage my daily life are very numerous, they follow one another according to what I have to do, sometimes help each other.
I don't have ONE protector. All parts are protective! They just do it their own way!
I have control parts but now that a dialogue has taken place, I have the impression that they take an equal place with the others, they too carry suffering and need to be loved, consoled, listened to. ..
I have parts that presented themselves as hostile and inside imitated my rapists, it was just enough to let them test, have confidence, their hostility was only in appearance. They are great protectors, helpers! I have a part (the one with her blue coat that sends love) that comes from meeting a beautiful child older than me at the time who brought me a lot of love and comfort. This child is dead. Her death made I think that part is formed to keep in me this part of the love that she had given me. But this part is not only that, it is also protective, loving guardian, observer, carer, control ... All my parts are the fruit of my good or bad encounters throughout my life. I think everyone builds themselves that way, builds their personality by being influenced by the people around us ...
All of my parts carry emotions. Some carry positive or negative emotions, some refuse or prevent feeling emotions ... But when I dig and try to understand them better, I realize that those who are angry are also very sad and very vulnerable . Those who are depressed also feel a need for peace and love. Those who are afraid to feel and block it just need to be reassured and listened to, taken into account and I realize that they are able to feel things eventually.
I have guardian parts but in fact all are guardians.
I have caring parts but once dialogue sets in, understanding and listening to each other, all of my parts are able to support and encourage others. All of them can provide support and inner love!
I have a "conchita, la boniche" part or "paper" parts that manage daily life, but now they no longer do it alone, others participate and help. These skills are no longer their exclusivity.
I have small parts but my "small cages" part which was 2-3 years old the first time she came to talk to my shrink has grown! At the time, she could hardly speak. Now, she is able to understand a lot of things and to express herself clearly without having to take soft toys to speak.
And the term changing part no longer has any meaning! Because all the parts grow, change, modify their roles ...
For the fragment parts, I don't know ... My system is very secret. I don't know for sure how many there are. A lot ! Very much ! I think I have already "integrated" some things. But if I have any, I think that as for the rest, once my system, my parts accept to listen, these bits of memories are integrated and this "fragment" is integrated into my memory, my history, my "me".
I have observant parts but which part is not? In fact they all observe and they all deduced a way of reacting to save me by studying my environment ...
I have guys parts but I know it's just in response to my surroundings. The "guys", the men in the sect had privileges, a possibility of rebelling, of asserting that a girl or a woman was not allowed to have so I find it quite logical to have parts that the understood and sought to help me assert myself in this way: by "living like a guy". But I know I don't have a ball and I know what kind I am!
And the last section ... pfff !!! No comment!
Why ? No, but why want to label everything, catalog, store in boxes when it is exactly the REVERSE that must be done !!!!
To be cured of an IDD, you have to experience yourself as ONE, ME, I whatever you experience, think or do! So stop putting us in boxes, boxes, partitions ...!
I want open spaces, air, large spaces, FREEDOM !!!!
I don't want to be locked in any way anymore! Leave me, let us be a complex and normal human being who cannot, must not be locked up for life in a prison of action, personality, role!
Isn't that to be a human being? To be FREE, free to change, to grow, to change, to think differently, to reinvent yourself ...
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