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Writer's pictureLeelah

05/07/2018


I am in the fog everything merges.

I have the impression of being in cotton all the time between dreaming and waking up.

I no longer know who I am how old I am or I am.

On the one hand it exhausts me and scares me and on the other they are happy to finally be free to express themselves.

I believe there is no difference between me and schizophrenics.

I realize that voices telling me to hurt myself or do some bullshit like pouring someone a glass of water I've always had. But I never paid attention to it. I was like "you're not okay?" And they were silent.

I've had voices telling me to cut my veins in a bath or hurt myself.

But I always knew that it was because I threw sad or badly I said to myself I am not well an observation simply and I knew by my sense of justice of what is good or bad that it should not be done. So there were just thoughts in my head. And they went back to hide. Were silent.

Or I thought of a friend who had done it and it was right away.

I always knew it was my suffering that was expressing itself and not an order to carry out.

The anger was there, it was watching over me and protecting me so that I didn't hurt myself and I didn't hurt others. They told me what I could and couldn't do and made sure I stayed as normal as possible.

There she is afraid she continues to watch over our troops. It allows them to express themselves but it is exhausting because it cuts them off as soon as it feels that the adult must take over and manage daily life and the others try to regain control as quickly as possible.

They play the musical chair. It is the one who can sit down the fastest on the seat of the controls.

I always felt like I was wrong to play a role.

Living freely with all my troop is a liberation I finally feel true. Me.

I'm trying to convince them to join me, but I think they're doing a test right now.

They want to see how the world welcomes them if there is no danger of rejection.

Then they will be ready to come to light and tell everything.

They start to trust you and they test you to see if you are not going to lock them up or take her for a crazy person.

After if you pass the test, they will be able to tell you everything.

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