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Writer's pictureLeelah

01/11/2020 Gratitude

Today I want to say thank you and show my friendship, my love, my gratitude to all the people who have crossed my path throughout my life.


A person with Down's syndrome who taught me to pray and ask for help in the darkest hours of my life and who stood up for me and protected me, showed love when I was only a 2 year old baby. His memory remains etched in me and one of my dissociative parts bears his name, the one that makes me feel love and warmth in my body.


A friend who sought to protect me when we were children.


My brother who despite his suicide was a protector throughout my adolescence and who remains a strong and loving presence in my memory.


My mother who today proves to me day after day her love and her support.


My sister, incredibly supportive and of an extraordinary intelligence. She was the link that allowed dialogue with my mother and our mutual understanding. Day-to-day support.


One of my shrinks who taught me one of the most important lessons to know and implement: take care of myself, be gentle with myself. Bring love to my small parts inside, accept them and listen to them, reassure them, console them ...


My shrink. This incredible woman who knew how to understand me and see me in my entirety. This incredible woman who teaches me day after day to love myself, to have an inner dialogue. She is the link between all my parts, she is the translator, the interpreter ... She was able to help me reconcile my dissociative parts and helps me day after day to face my past. Thanks to her I came to understand that I was a beautiful person worthy of respect, worthy of being loved. Thanks to her I understood that I could be safe, that life was not all suffering and death. Thanks to her today I hope, I believe in a positive future. Thanks to her I know that I am strong and that in me there are incredible resources for resilience and survival! Thanks to her, I know that one day my dissociative parts and I will be one.


My boss and my companion. Which offer me the possibility of being me with all my complexity in my daily life without feeling in danger or vulnerable. Thanks to this, I advance a lot in the inner dialogue and the analysis of my thoughts and feelings. Thanks to this, I can advance in my therapy by integrating my traumatic history while continuing to have a "normal life" in my daily life, take on a job, learn to love and be loved, learn to have healthy connections, set limits , understand my rights and my duties, whether at work or in romantic relationships ...


I am SO grateful for it all!


I always felt like I was wrong, that I was playing a role. I didn't know who I was, where I came from. It was all fog and uncertainty in my life. Only fear and suffering were present in my daily life.

Today this is no longer the case.

Thank you !

Today I know who I am, I am me, I am us. I am no longer alone, I am no longer invisible, I am no longer silent and powerless.

Today, I am !

You brought me back to life, you kept me alive.

Thank you !


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